Hey, pretty lady! I can’t believe that I’m finally kicking off this blog. The journey here has been both exciting and nerve wrecking at the same time. But I’m definitely ready and looking forward to chatting it up with you and to us getting to know each other better! Have you been over to the “About/About Me” pages already? If not, I think that’s a great place to start and learn a little about who I used to be and why I started The E.Y.E. CANDY Wife. Today’s post is a little more personal, in hopes of you getting a better idea of who I am.
First things first, I am married to my best girlfriend’s (turned sister-in-love’s) brother! He and I met and dated briefly in college during my freshwoman year– shout out to my beloved alma mater Bennett College. We were brought back together 10 years later when he realized what a good thing he was missing from his life, ha ha ha! Seriously, we had maintained a loose friendship over the years since his sister and I were friends and I believe he had grown into that magical state of mind when a man matures and is ready to settle down.
Anyhow, after reconnecting we knew very early on that we each had found “the one”. We began a whirlwind, long-distance courtship immediately, were engaged 5 weeks in and married 9 months later. This July will mark 7 years of marriage! We have certainly had our share of challenges, but through it all his commitment brings an additional level of security to my life that I’m very grateful for.
We have been blessed with two amazingly smart and equally rambunctious sons, ages 4 and 1 (actually almost 5 and 2) and we are expecting our third son this coming June. We haven’t chosen a name, so suggestions are welcome, so long as they begin with the letter C!
My oldest son can tell you anything about space and is obsessed with asking Siri (the iPhone voice assistant) for sports scores. While my youngest son is an extremely picky eater, he needs no convincing that the Washington Redskins are our team. In fact, if he catches a glimpse of any of his Redskin paraphernalia while I’m dressing him he will whine and cry until he’s wearing it—please don’t judge me!
I’m a northern girl, raised in Connecticut where the fall season boasts an array of magnificent colors and winters are nothing short of brutal. I grew up the proud daughter of a strong and nurturing single mother. We never had much, but she managed to keep a roof over our heads, a warm meal on the table, and to keep me and my twin brother active and out of trouble.
Our home was full of love and I have fond childhood memories. Yet despite being friendly and easy to get along with, I never had more than a couple of intimate friendships. Truthfully it was hard for me to understand why anyone would want to be friends with me or be around me because I didn’t feel like I had much to offer.
In fact, most of my life I’ve lived with buried feelings of inferiority, an inability to trust others, and deeply rooted feelings of rejection. So instead of actively forming relationships I simply avoided people or pushed them away. That was the instinctive defense mechanism that prevented me from experiencing the pain of rejection that I felt as a result of my father not being a consistent part of my life.
For a long time I felt powerless, I allowed my childhood experience define me and taint my marriage. Already insecure and lacking confidence, I eventually began to hate the woman and ultimately the wife that I had become. But little did I know that my disdain would set me on a collision course with God’s immeasurable love and unending grace restoring beauty when I came to the end of myself.
Today I have an appreciation for my pain and the process that I had to endure in order to position myself to help other women like me. Where are you in your life’s journey as a woman and as a wife? Do you want to know the truth of who God created you to be instead of who life has forced you to be? Can we walk this beautiful, sometimes painful journey of self-discovery and transformation together?
Drop a line or two in the comments to say hi and let me know where you are on your journey.
Join me here weekly for messages of hope and encouragement that will inspire and challenge you to live and love freely. And of course, a little girl talk on all things wife related!
Be sure to subscribe to the blog to get amazing content delivered directly to your inbox as well as a free PDF copy of my 7 Fundamental (and Divorce Shattering) Habits Every Wife Should Master.